Problematic Family Members and Friends and How to Deal with Them During Your Wedding
There’s something to be said for the fact that weddings are undeniably a boiling pot for emotions. Tensions can run high, and the environment can often be a breeding ground for pre-existing arguments. And while a wedding should embody the celebration of a couple, their relationship together, and their love for their nearest and dearest, there will always be those who make a habit out of forgetting what the day is truly all about.
From dramas over invite lists, to controlling parents or family members, family feuds, or problematic and troublesome friends, the prospect of added drama occurring on (or before) the wedding is sometimes unavoidable and can be incredibly stressful for a couple.
So, what is the best way to deal with problematic family members and friends so you’re able to enjoy your wedding day with as little stress (for a wedding day) as possible?
Before The Big Day
Controlling the Organisation Process
Sometimes these problems can begin before the day even arrives. Everyone likes to have their two bobs worth. Whether it’s about the dress code, tableware, or traditions to be upheld. And unfortunately, when these opinions coincide with a financial input, particularly from parents, people often feel they are entitled to have a say and input on everything. You may be put under pressure to invite certain family members, adhere to requests, or make specific people part of your wedding party. This can make the entire event feel like their wedding rather than your own.
Solution
Navigating this kind of behaviour, especially when it’s from a parent, can be difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s important to remember that this is your wedding. The best way to go about this is to be open and transparent with these people from the beginning. Sit them down and tell them exactly what you want from the wedding and why. If they are still wanting to be involved in the planning process, find smaller tasks to help them feel included, yet not overbearing or controlling.
Alternatively, if confrontation is not your style, then you might want to consider a wedding planner. A wedding planner can take all the pressure away from you and your partner. As professionals, they understand the ins and outs of a wedding, including the drama that can often accompany them. As such, they can help you navigate problematic people and keep them in-line, ensuring you get the beautiful and unproblematic wedding you deserve.
Wedding Party Problems
Choosing your wedding party is meant to be a fun and exciting experience, but when you have problematic people in your life who hold high expectations it can also be daunting. This can extend beyond a controlling family member insisting on certain people being part of your wedding party, to a close friend being upset if they aren’t included, or even having existing party members trying to control aspects of the wedding organisation or not showing up in their duties.
Solution
What a lot of this comes down to is making sure you’re picking people you trust and have full confidence in. At the end of the day a true friend or family member will understand if they are unable to be a part of your wedding party. If you have suspicions that someone is likely going to make the experience all about them, either sit them down and have an open and direct conversation with them, or reconsider if they are the right person for the job. Your wedding party is there to be a support system on your big day, not another added level of unnecessary stress, so it’s important to not take this decision lightly or with external pressure.
Family or Friendship Feuds
Not everyone within your life may get on, and inviting them to a space where they are forced to engage with one another can often be a slippery slope to arguments or tensions. Whether it’s family feuds, friendship disagreements, or simply a particular person you feel may take it upon themselves to illicit drama.
Solution
Fortunately, a lot of these problems can be solved pragmatically, whether through seating arrangements, establishing clear boundaries before the day arrives, or reconsidering your invite list. For instance, make sure to avoid seating problematic or troublesome guests near each other, and have firm conversations with these people separately before the wedding. It can also be helpful to inform your wedding party or wedding planner of any guests you’re particularly worried about, and delegating someone the task of handling them if the need arises.
If you feel that neither of these options will help to solve the problem, it’s worthwhile taking the time to reconsider if you should invite them at all. It might feel harsh not inviting people, but at the end of the day, you have to consider if extending the invitation is worth the potential drama that may accompany it.
Divorced Parents
Having divorced parents, especially those who don’t get along, can be a difficult barrier to navigate for a wedding. And while many of the solutions align with the above problems, there are other small yet significant things you can put in place to have as minimal confrontation as possible.
Solution
Not only are seating arrangements an important one with this specific issue, but also ensuring that other areas where your parents may be forced to interact are organised and not left untouched. For instance, make sure you’ve created a strategic list for your wedding photographer to follow on the day, so there is no confusion or mishaps.
Ultimately, however, just as is the case for many of these issues, it’s important to sit your parents down before the wedding and have an open conversation with them. Make sure you don’t leave any stone unturned and get it all out in the open now. It’s better to have the confrontation and unearth any troublesome dynamics before the day arrives, rather than trying to blindly navigate them during the event.
How can Post Road Studio help?
In the midst of planning a wedding, the last thing you need is to be worrying about the actions of any problematic friends or family within your life. At the end of the day, those who love you and care about you most only want the best for you. Trust in your decisions, try not to fall prey to the drama yourself, and remember that there are ways around these problems.
Love,
The Post Road Studio Team
